David Yarbrough
Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? Acts 26:14
Are you seeking first the Kingdom of God, or are you stuck in your own stubborn ways? It is hard to get yourself unstuck. Years ago, I operated heavy equipment, and many times I would get the equipment I was operating stuck. If I were working alone, it could be impossible to get unstuck. However, if I was working with someone, it was pretty much effortless to just wave them over and get them to pull me out of the rut. In your spiritual life, it takes the life transforming power of the Holy Spirit to get you unstuck. If you've never experienced the power of the Holy Spirit, you might just be stuck in a rut and not even realize it.
When you go your own way and get deeply burrowed in your self-willed ruts, you may be unintentionally persecuting Jesus. Before the apostle Paul was converted on the Damascus Road, he thought he was doing God's will as he was attempting to destroy the church. He was highly religious and probably would have told you that he loved God and was very passionate about his religious mission. He thought he was doing God's will when, in reality, he was fighting against God's will. Jesus asked him in Acts 26:14 (CSB), “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” Paul was striving against God’s will and didn't even realize it.
The danger of your self-willed ruts is that you can be striving against God and His Kingdom purpose and not even realize it. Does the Word of God pierce through your heart as you read it? If it doesn't, you might be stuck in a rut. Your flesh is not ever going to be naturally set in alignment with the Word of God and the Spirit of God (Galatians 5:17). When you obey the Word of God, the Holy Spirit will pull your thoughts and understanding into perfect unity with the will of the Father (Romans 12:2).
Galatians 5:24 (CSB)
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Kingdom living is a life filled with intentional persecution. This is you persecuting your own flesh. You will either be intentionally persecuting your own flesh or you'll be unintentionally persecuting Jesus. When you follow your flesh and fall into the rut of going your own way, you will not be serving the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:27), which is also the Bride of Christ (2 Cor. 11:12). You'll be serving yourself, and in doing so, you will be unintentionally hurting the Body of Christ and the Bride of Christ by not serving your Kingdom purpose within the Church. Many people who are not involved in their local church think they're not doing anything to hurt Jesus when, in reality, by going their own way, they are unintentionally persecuting Jesus.
I realize this sounds like a strong accusation; however, I believe if you had met Paul on the Damascus Road before he met Jesus and told him that he was going against the will of God and actually persecuting Jesus, who is God, he would have been highly offended. Notice that Jesus did not say to Paul, "You're persecuting the church." But rather, He said you are "persecuting me."
You must keep in mind that Jesus never said following Him would be easy; He said quite the opposite. For example, in Luke 9:23 (CSB), “Then he said to them all, ‘If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.’” In order for you to follow the path of your Kingdom purpose, it's going to require you to crucify your own flesh. As you do, you will experience the life transforming power of the Holy Spirit and find freedom from these deep-seated ruts that are pulling you away from Jesus.
I encourage you today, my dear reader, to examine through contemplative prayer very closely the path you are on. Dying to yourself is uncomfortable and painful, but by embracing this, you move from the rut, to the road—which is the road that is leading you home to your Kingdom purpose.