John 21:17 (CSB)
He asked him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved that he asked him the third time…
The Struggle of Foot and Mouth Disease
For most of us, Peter is the most relatable of all the disciples. He suffers from “foot and mouth” disease because he's always putting his foot in his mouth (Matthew 16:22-23). As a result, he spends most of his time bouncing around on the back of the struggle bus. As we read the Gospels, we see Jesus pointing out that Peter’s foot in firmly in his mouth. And He's constantly taking Peter down rougher roads to motivate him to get off the back of the struggle bus (Matthew 14:29-31). ). [You can read about the struggle bus here.]
How does Jesus do this? Through loving, piercing words. In John 21:17 Jesus takes Peter back to his pre-discipleship name, 'Simon, son of John.' Whenever Peter’s foot and mouth disease strikes, and he tumbles to the back of the struggle bus, Jesus will refer to him by his old name. Jesus had given Peter a new identity as a “Disciple of Jesus,” and a new name: 'Peter,' which means 'rock.' By using Peter’s old name Jesus is surgically using piercing words to cut into Peter’s sin and bring him to repentance.
The Depth of Love and Failure
Here in John 21:17, this is the third time Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him. Why three times? Because of Peter’s three denials of Jesus (John 18:15-27). The reason Peter was grieved the third time has an added layer in the original language that is difficult to see in our English translation. In Greek (which is the Bible’s original language), there are a few different words for 'love.' In John 21 Jesus uses two different words for 'love':
Phileo: refers to a brotherly love. It’s conditional and depends on mutual interest or benefits.
Agape: refers to an unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial love. This love seeks the highest good for the other person, regardless of how it affects oneself.
The first two times Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him, He used the word 'agape.' This was to ask if Peter loved Him with an unconditional, selfless, sacrificial kind of love. Peter’s three denials had humbled him, and all he could bring himself to say was, “You know that I love (phileo) you.” But the third time, Jesus lowered the bar and changed to ask Peter if he loved him with a brotherly (phileo) love. This was heart-wrenching to Peter.
Grace After Grief
Three denials out of Peter’s own mouth. And now three times Jesus asking Peter if he loved him, lowering it to the most common, brotherly kind of love the third time. Here, Peter feels the full weight of his inability to love Jesus as he desires to (Romans 7:24-25). He needs grace. And that’s exactly what Jesus gives him.
Jesus puts a concluding point of grace on the three piercing questions of love in John 21. In verse 19, He ends with, “After saying this, He [Jesus] told him [Peter], 'Follow me.'” Now that's grace! Even though Peter had fallen so far, the call to "Follow Me" still stands. It’s as if Jesus is telling Peter, “You have not fallen so far that my power of grace can’t reach you.” Your call to “Follow Me” is still valid. You’re still loved, you’re still called, and you’re still my disciple. So do what a disciple does, and get up and “Follow Me.”
In the face of Peter sin, comes the overwhelming power of grace and restoration comes through the words of Jesus. And that message roles over to us today who are in Christ Jesus. One of the most impactful verses in the Bible is Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” Jesus's words can be piercing, but the intention is not to drive us away. It is to draw us closer—back to the front of the bus closer to our Lord and Savior.
Just as with Peter, the same is true for us: after the confrontation comes the call. The restoration of Peter tells us something astonishing about Jesus. He still wants us, even after we messed up, even though we’re far from perfect. But we're still His. “Follow Me,” are powerful words of grace.
So if you are fully aware of your own version of 'foot and mouth disease.' And find yourself constantly bouncing around on the back of the struggle bus, take heart. Like Peter, you're not too far out of the reach of the grace of God. The call to “Follow Me” still resounds today. So regardless of how bad you've fallen, by His grace, you can stand up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Following Jesus is not a Sprint; it's a walk. It's a lifelong journey, fueled by the grace of God and guided by His love.