Embracing Humility in Conflict

David Yarbrough

Numbers 12:3 (CSB)

Moses was a very humble man, more so than anyone on the face of the earth.

Think about this scenario: you are in a crowded room where people are talking. When suddenly you hear your name swirling around you, laced with criticism. At first, you're shocked, then your shock turns to anger when a close friend whom you've trusted tells a twisted version of your story, bringing your character and integrity into question and depicting you as a person filled with pride. Your natural thought is to retaliate; you're ready to explode like an untamed volcano, emotionally driven by your anger. 

I want us to pause and consider a different way to respond. One that reflects humility rather than pride and meekness rather than vengeance.

Humility isn't a natural characteristic that comes to us instinctively. We have this built-in pride as a result of our sinful, natural desire for self-preservation and self-promotion. Bible scholars have said that Moses' greatest honor wasn't the great deeds that he accomplished, but his deep humility. The meekness of Moses made him stand out to such an extent that God spoke with him face-to-face as a friend (Exodus 33:11).

There's an old Jewish tradition that predates Jesus concerning the death of Moses. They believe that God Himself embraced Moses and gently took his soul to heaven. The Scriptures don't say this, but if there was ever anyone who deserved such an honor, it would indeed be Moses. The 12th chapter of Numbers is a powerful demonstration of the humility of Moses when Miriam and Aaron spoke against him, criticizing his marriage to the Cushite woman (Numbers 12:1). The interesting aspect of this confrontation is that the Lord heard it all.

We see how they interrogated Moses in Numbers 12:2 (CSB), “They said, ‘Does the Lord speak only through Moses? Does he not also speak through us?’ And the Lord heard it.” The implication was that they believed Moses was elevating himself above them. Yet Moses does not retaliate. And in his humiliation, he places his circumstances before God. God responded swiftly, as if to respond with thunder and wrath against Miriam and Aaron (Numbers 12:4–10).

We must take note that Moses did not respond with an emotionally driven defense, and so God acted swiftly on his behalf. Moses kept his calm while God's righteous anger was kindled. When you feel like other people have wronged you, it's easy to allow your emotions to well up and explode like a volcano. But when you react like this, you remove God from the conflict (Romans 12:19). But on the other hand, if you respond with humility when others have wronged you, God will be working in the middle of the conflict on your behalf. The less you retaliate against those who have wronged you, the more God will step in on your behalf.

Romans 12:17–21 (CSB)

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes.

If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

The next time you are wronged, stop, pause, and ask yourself, "Do I want God's help in this conflict?"   If you want God to come to your defense, then you need to respond slowly and with self-control. You must pray that the fruit of the Holy Spirit will override your emotions and prepare you to respond with humility, giving space for God to work in your conflict. In Galatians 5:22–23, consider the last three of the nine in the list of the fruit of the Holy Spirit: "faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."  As a result of your position in Christ, the fruit of the Holy Spirit is what God is producing in you; this is not a result of your behavior modification.